Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Warning: Syrupy sap ahead.

{A quick thought on motherhood.}

Lucy turns one in a few days.
Where has this year gone?
It has been the best year of my life. Truly.
I have been composing a letter to her, something I plan to do each year on her birthday and give them to her at some point in the future, high school graduation or wedding or something.
I have been so weepy.
I was reading something in a parenting magazine, I can't remember which one, that said something about how if we made a pie chart of our lives with all that we do, etc., the first year of our baby's life would be about the size of a toothpick and so to remember to enjoy each day, etc.

Being a parent is truly my calling in this life and no, I am not perfect at it but it so perfectly suits me. I feel so unworthy of my daughter. I see her in all her glistening cleanliness, still so unspotted from the ugliness of the world and I seek to protect her from all of it (I'm not kidding when I say I'm considering home schooling) and I think about how much I have to tell her and teach her and how much she has to teach me.

I try so hard to cherish each moment with Lucy.
There are times I take mental notes of what we're doing and what we're wearing so that I can encapsulate those moments in my mind.
I watch her play and she sees me watching and gives me a huge grin
and it makes me want to cry.
I am already nostalgic for her childhood. I look forward to every moment.
Every cry, every success, every failure, every last minute science project, every everything.
I never want to move too fast to enjoy every moment.
I try to give her my best smiles and my warmest hugs and my deepest laughter.

6 comments:

Stacie said...

I especially loved your very last line. I have noticed you are good at that. And not just with Lucy. For whatever reason, I have felt that way too with Jacob. He's my little guy!

Danette said...

I really like this idea. I am going to do it too, starting now, so E and C will be a few short.

Katie and Brandon said...

you're adorable!

Stephanie said...

Sappy yes, but so sweet, and so true. I feel exactly like you do!

Linz said...

Beautifully said.

Suzy said...

Anna, you are such a good Mommy. It is so evident in the way that you write about Lucy on your blog, and the time you spend with her every day. Congrats on such a big milestone...you have both grown so much this year!!